COOL ECONOMIST URGES PEOPLE TO HEDGE AGAINST ECONOMIC COLLAPSE BY INVESTING IN GOLDSCHLAGER

SEN. REID PROMISES FREE FOOD, BEER, CONDOMS, CANDY AND CRACKERS AT VOTER TURNOUT EVENTS

TOM CRUISE DEMOTED TO SCIENTOLOGY'S LEVEL SIX FOR DOG-EARRING PAGE IN DIANETICS

NEW IT GUY HOPES REBOOT FIXES PROBLEM

DEMS FACING ESCALATING OPPOSITION FROM GOP, TEA PARTIERS, PEOPLE THAT LEARN ABOUT THEM

ALAN GRAYSON PUT OFF BY OPPONENT'S VICIOUS 'GRAYSON-LIKE' ADS

REPORT: HOUSING CRISIS HITTING UNEMPLOYED FORECLOSURE VICTIMS THE HARDEST

POLICE DOG DITCHES NARCOTICS UNIT GIG TO FOLLOW 'FRAGRANT' KID ROCK WORLD TOUR

NEWARK, NJ SCHOOL CHILDREN ENJOYING 'BLINGED OUT' BUSES AFTER ZUCKERBERG GIFT

U.S. DEMOCRATIC PARTY TO BORROW CHILEAN RESCUE CONTRAPTION FOR USE ON CONGRESSIONAL RACES

GARAGE TECHIE FINDS SMOKING POT MORE FUN THAN FOUNDING NEXT GOOGLE

MAJORITY OF ATTENDEES VOTE 'NOT PRESENT' AT OBAMA RALLY

CHILEAN PRESIDENT DELIVERS STRANGE TELEPROMPTERLESS SPEECH FROM THE HEART

MARRIED MINER WITH NEWLY-DISCOVERED MISTRESS OPTS TO STAY IN CHILEAN MINE

CLINTON ADMITS 2012 PRESIDENTIAL AMBITIONS, SAYS CONSIDERING OBAMA FOR VP ROLE

OBAMA STREAKER WAS 'PREPARING IN ADVANCE FOR IRS ANAL PROBE'

WHITE HOUSE TELEPROMPTER CREW TO SPEND ALL-NIGHTER PREPPING CANDID OBAMA STATEMENT FOR PRESSER

NASA: SPACE DEBRIS IN DANGER OF COLLISION WITH OUTER EDGE OF U.S. DEFICIT

BLOOMBERG BACKS IMAM'S PLAN TO BUY FREEDOM TOWER FOR NEW MOSQUE LOCATION

GORE, BIN LADEN COLLABORATE ON NEW AUDIO RECORDING THREAT AGAINST U.S.

$50 MILLION LOTTERY WINNER SAYS ECONOMY 'DOING AWESOME'

RICH GLENN BECK CONSOLIDATES EFFORTS, BUILDS BUNKER OUT OF GOLD