OBAMA NATIONAL SECURITY ADVISOR CRITICIZED FOR HILARIOUS ANTI-SEMITIC JOKE THAT POKED FUN AT TALIBAN

NEW YORK TIMES RESERVING COLUMN IN CLASSIFIEDS FOR NOAH'S ARK STORY, IF VERIFIED BY U.N.

SHARPTON RALLIES ILLEGALS FOR SELMA MARCH

STEVE JOBS EXHAUSTED FROM 48 HOURS OF WATERBOARDING IPHONE 4G LOSER

EXHAUST FROM AL GORE SPEECH MISTAKEN FOR SPEWING ICELANDIC VOLCANO

OBAMA: 'I AM ONE HUNDRED PERCENT COMMITTED TO THE MISSION OF LYING TO NASA ABOUT ITS FUTURE"

CALIFORNIA TO TAX HOMELESS PANHANDLERS FOR MUCH NEEDED REVENUE

DUDE AT WAL-MART WEARING BLACK PANTS AND RED GOLF SHIRT NOT TIGER WOODS, STUDY SHOWS

AMERICAN IDOL PARENTS IGNORING INEVITABLE DRUGS, VIPER ROOM, AND SUICIDAL FUTURES OF THEIR MONEY MACHINES

MICROSOFT FALLS FLAT WITH NEW GASOLINE-POWERED TABLET

PEACE-LOVING RELIGION PRACTICIONER ALLEGEDLY PLOTTED TO CAUSE MAN-CAUSED DISASTER IN NYC SUBWAY

GREEDY BIG PHARMA TURNING ALLERGY MEDS PROFIT BY EXPLOITING POLLEN LEVELS

TIGER'S 'GET IN THE HOLE!' GUY FRUSTRATED BY LACK OF HOLES IN ONE

MAGIC MOB WHACKS TEEN THAT REVEALS COOL 'ILLUSION' ON YOUTUBE

CLAUSE ON PAGE 5,784 OF HEALTHCARE BILL MANDATES THE WATERBOARDING OF HEALTHCARE BILL CRITICS

TEEN TIRED OF GETTING MADE FUN OF IN DAD'S OBAMA-STICKERED ESCALADE

CREDIT CARD INDUSTRY WORRIES END OF WORLD MIGHT EAT INTO ITS PROFITS

OPRAH RUNS OUT OF POSES, SMILE CONFIGURATIONS FOR O MAG COVER

EXPERT: MEN TEND TO 'ENDURE CHICK FLICKS' IF THEY INCLUDE HOT CHICKS