AFTERNOON UPDATE: MITT ROMNEY STILL PRO-LIFE

SEN. McCAIN BLAMES SUNBURN ON 'GIULIANI'S RADIANT CHARISMA'

JOHN McCAIN LANDS INTERVIEW WITH 'PETS, PETS, & MORE PETS' MAGAZINE

BARAK OBAMA GOES ON RECORD WITH FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR

CONGRESS MULLS KYOTO-TYPE TREATY WITH AL GORE

JAMES CAMERON IN HIDING AFTER THREAT FROM SOUTH BEND BAPTIST CHURCH CONGREGATION MEMBER

CHENEY ASSASSIN GETS MOVEON.ORG MEDAL OF HONOR

BOBBY BROWN ENDS RECORD 24 CONSECUTIVE ARREST-FREE DAYS RECORD WITH ARREST

BOBBY BROWN ENDS RECORD 24 CONSECUTIVE ARREST-FREE DAYS RECORD WITH ARREST

 

AWARD FOR BEST ACADEMY AWARDS SHOW PRODUCTION GOES TO ACADEMY AWARDS SHOW AGAIN

JAMES CAMERON CLAIMS TO FIND ADAM AND EVE'S PARENT'S TOMB

SECRET CASTRO DIARY REVEALS 'BORN-AGAIN EVANGELICAL CONSERVATIVE REPUBLICAN SIDE'

LEWIS LIBBY JURORS ACCUSED OF 'MILKING THEIR $5 A DAY SALARIES'

SECRET CASTRO DIARY REVEALS 'BORN-AGAIN EVANGELICAL CONSERVATIVE REPUBLICAN SIDE'

LEWIS LIBBY JURORS ACCUSED OF 'MILKING THEIR $5 A DAY SALARIES'

BRITNEY SPEARS FIGHTS TO HAVE CUSTODY OF CHILDREN ON DAYS SHE'S NOT IN REHAB

CLINTON CAMP ROCKED AS CHELSEA CLINTON FOLLOWS GEFFEN IN ENDORSING OBAMA

OBAMA FUELS CLINTON FEUD WITH 'X-BOYFRIEND VINCE FOSTER' COMMENT

RIC KELLER CLEARS UP LAWNMOWING ANALOGY

CONGRESSMAN SAYS IRAQ WAR IS 'MORE LIKE WEEDING A PUMPKIN GARDEN IN THE FALL... IN A THONG'

HECKLER QUESTIONS SEN. CLINTON'S ALLEGIANCE TO MAO

CELEBS EMBRACING NEW SCIENTOLOGISLAMIC HYBRID RELIGION

SURGE IN PUBLIC SCHOOL ATTENDENCE BLAMED FOR INCORRECT WIKIPEDIA EDITS

 

NORTH KOREA: NATIONAL DEITY KIM JONG IL SCORES 18 HOLES-IN-ONE DURING GOLF ROUND

 

02.20.07 UPDATE: JET BLUE'S FEB 9 FLIGHT FROM LA GUARDIA TO NEWARK ARRIVES SAFELY

HILLARY DITCHES CARGO PANTS, WIFE BEATER, AND JOCK STRAP FOR 'MORE FEMININE-LOOKING' ATTIRE

CUBAN GOV: FIDEL CASTRO 'ALIVE AND DOING JUST FINE" ON VACATION AT HAVANA MORGUE

KEVIN HARVICK'S DAYTONA 500 WIN REVERSED FOR ILLEGAL 'NEW CAR SCENT' AIR FRESHENER

TAYLOR HICKS TO OPEN FOR 1ST PLACE 4-H JUNIOR BLUES HARMONICA WINNER IN QUIOXBOROUGH, SC

CHINATOWN KNOCKOFF ROLEX VENDOR BUYS AIR AMERICA

 

CORONER CITES NATURAL CAUSES IN GREAT WHITE SHARK DIVER DEATH

 

EMAIL PROBLEMS DELAY SEN. CLINTON'S VALENTINE GREETING TO FORMER PRESIDENT HUSBAND'S OFFICE

 

TRIMPSA TAPS SEN. TED KENNEDY AS NEW SPOKESMODEL

 

SENATE REPUBLICANS PUSH FOR 'SUPER-BINDING RESOLUTION' TO REJECT HOUSE'S NON-BINDING RESOLUTION

MASSACHUSETTS THREATENS UNDERGROUND NUKE TEST

BARAK OBAMA COUNTS 'A GOOD WORKING KNOWLEDGE OF THE SENATE CAFETERIA'S TABLE ARRANGEMENT' AMONG HIS CONGRESSIONAL EXPERIENCES

MONEY CLIPS, WALLETS, G-STRINGS BEING REVISED TO HANDLE NEW $1 COINS

ALLEGED SMOKING HABIT TARNISHES BARAK OBAMA'S 'CLEAN BLACK' IMAGE

AUDIENCE FROM OBAMA SPEECH APOLOGIZE FOR MISINTERPRETING 'WASTED' COMMENT

SENATE DEMS DEMAND BUSH PULL TROOPS OUT OF 2007 IRAN WAR

DNC CHIEF HOWARD DEAN: 'THIS RESOLUTION REMOVES ALL DOUBT THAT WE APPEAR TO SUPPORT THE TROOPS'

AL GORE'S GLOBAL WARMING SPEECH CANCELLED AFTER SUVS BURIED UNDER MOUNTAIN OF SNOW

OBAMA FLIP-FLOPS ON 'WASTED LIVES' COMMENT ABOUT TROOPS, SAYS JOKE WAS 'BOTCHED'

IRAQ'S NEW SECURITY PLAN CLOSES BORDERS TO SYRIA, IRAN, U.N.

ANNA NICOLE AUTOPSY FINGERS SCOOTER LIBBY TRIAL COVERAGE FOR DEATH

LYNDON LAROUCHE DROPS OUT OF '08 WHITE HOUSE RACE, CITES POSSIBLE FATHERHOOD OF ANNA NICOLE SMITH BABY

MIT ROMNEY LAUNCHES PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN, DISTANCES SELF FROM 'LIBERALS LIKE GIULIANI AND McCAIN'

N. KOREA TO CREATE TREASURY DEPT AFTER 'AID FOR BEHAVIOR' OFFER

DEPT WILL FACILITATE INCOMING $164.32 IN AID TO 'NEEDY GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS'

FEWER DEAD IN GAZA TODAY REPRESENTS BREAKTHROUGH IN FATAH-HAMAS UNITY GOVERNMENT

AIR AMERICA SOLD FOR 50 GALLON DRUM OF INSECTICIDE AND BUCKET OF ROOFING NAILS

DIXIE CHICKS GRAMMYS WINFALL PROMPTS APOLOGY FROM BUSH, WITHDRAWAL OF TROOPS FROM IRAQ

BRITS BRACE FOR STD SURGE IN 75 - 90 YR OLDS WITH OVER-THE-COUNTER VIAGRA

TRIMSPA LOOKS TO ROSIE O'DONNELL TO SAVE BRAND

JESSE JACKSON DENIES HE'S ONE OF ANNA NICOLE SMITH'S DAUGHTER'S MANY FATHERS

IRAN: NUKING OF ISRAEL WILL OCCUR BY 'PEACEFUL, NON-THREATENING MEANS'

ROCK STAR SEN. OBAMA TO OPEN FOR RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS AT MILWAUKEE'S BRADLEY CENTER LATER THIS MONTH

 

SEN. OBAMA PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDACY ANNOUNCEMENT 'ECLIPSED' BY ANNA NICOLE SMITH AUTOPSY COVERAGE

 

JOEY BUTAFFUCO CLAIMS TO BE HOWARD K. STERN'S FATHER, ASKS COURT FOR PATERNITY TEST

AGING JIMMY CARTER 'ENCOURAGED' BY POST MORTEM COMPLIMENTS PAID TO ANNA NICOLE SMITH

SPEAKER PELOSI SETTLES FOR AIRCRAFT WITHOUT WINE CELLAR

MARILYN MONROE'S SOUL IN CRITICAL CONDITION AFTER ANNA NICOLE SMITH COMPARISONS

TALK OF BORAT SEQUEL SUCKS AIR OUT OF SEN. EDWARDS FLOUNDERING PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN

SEN. CLINTON SUGGESTS YOUTUBE PROFITS BE 'USED FOR THE COMMON GOOD'

HOUSE SPEAKER PELOSI ASKS BUSH FOR KEYS TO AIR FORCE ONE

IRAN'S AHMADINEJAD SETS TO DEBUNK 'THE MYTHS OF THE HOLOCAUST, SEPT 11, AND THE MOON LANDING'

PRINCIPAL OF ISLAMIC SCHOOL IN ENGLAND: TEXTBOOK PHRASE 'JEWS ARE APES' WAS 'MISINTERPRETED'

NASA PLEDGES TO STOP RECRUITING SPACE SHUTTLE CAPTAINS FROM BARS NEAR KENNEDY SPACE CENTER

RYAN O'NEAL ASKS NASA FOR PERMISSION TO PURSUE RELATIONSHIP WITH CRAZY ASTRONAUT

PARIS HILTON APOLOGIZES FOR OUTFIT WORN IN 'N-WORD' VIDEO

ITALIAN GOV: ONLY 150 DEAD IN SOCCER MATCH POST-GAME RIOTING

 

GIULIANI'S PRESIDENTIAL EXPLORATORY COMMITTEE ATTEMPTS SUBPOENA OF SEN. McCAIN'S MEDICAL RECORDS

 

BUSH BUDGET RIVALS GOOGLE'S BEAN BAG CHAIR FUND

'GLOBAL WARMING RAIN' BLAMED FOR TURNOVERS IN SUPERBOWL

BUD LIGHT TAKES EARLY LEAD IN SUPERBOWL XLI

IRAN'S AHMADINEJAD CLAIMS NUCLEAR BREAKTHROUGH, CURE TO AIDS, MANNED MARS LANDING

 

CHICAGO BEARS ASK FOR 14 POINT HEAD START IN SUPERBOWL 'TO MAKE IT FAIR'

 

AL GORE: RAINY SUPERBOWL WEATHER IN SUNNY MIAMI 'ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF GLOBAL WARMING'S WRATH'

 

CNN: 1000 IRAQI CIVILIAN INSURGENTS KILLED IN PAST WEEK

 

IRAN RESUMES DESTRUCTIVE TALKS WITH ISRAEL

BARAK OBAMA EXTENDS VEEP OFFER TO SEN. CLINTON

SEN. CLINTON DISPUTES BIDEN'S 'CLEAN BLACK' OBAMA COMMENT