PUBLIC SCHOOLS PUSH FOR BAN ON EPHEDRA BASED OBESITY CONTROL SUPPS FOR KIDS

5 YR OLD PLAME-WILSON KID EXPOSES CIA FOR SECRET SPY AGENCY

TOM CRUISE GAY RUMORS HUSH MONEY PROVIDES BOOST TO U.S. ECONOMY

U.S. MILITARY TO INVESTIGATE ENCOURAGING REPORTS THAT HUSSEIN WAS BEATEN IN CUSTODY

REPORT: AL SHARPTON LOBBIED FOR 'TOOKIE' WILLIAMS DESPITE INMATE'S ANTI-GANG PREACHING

FUNNY LIBERALS THINK AMERICANS ARE CONCERNED ABOUT SADDAM'S TORTURE CLAIMS

MEDIA BACKSIDE GLOWS RED AFTER BUSH SPEECH

POLL: TOUPEE WEARERS ARE 'TECHNICAL LIARS'

PLASTIC ONO BAND REUNITES; JOHN LENNON ACTION FIGURE TO PLAY LEAD TO HORRIBLE YOKO VOCALS

ANTACID SHORTAGE REPORTED IN BLUE STATES AFTER WILDLY SUCCESSFUL RAQ ELECTIONS

BUSH CRITICIZED FOR 'OVERLY SUCCESSFUL' IRAQI ELECTIONS

KERRY, GORE TRAVEL TO IRAQ TO ADVISE ON ELECTION COMPLAINTS

SCIENTIST: DICK CLARK AGES 2.4 MONTHS PER YEAR

NEW YORK TIMES IRAQ REPORTER FIRED FOR GOOD NEWS LEAK

TERRY MCAULIFFE PROMOTES PAL'S PENNY STOCK DURING SPEECH ON NATIONAL SECURITY

DEMOCRATS: BUSH 'ARROGANT' FOR TAKING QUESTIONS AFTER SPEECH

FEDERAL AIR MARSHALS TO EXTEND PROTECTIVE SERVICES TO TRAINS, CRUISE SHIPS, PRIVATE AUTOMOBILES

MIKE FERREL LEAVES SAN QUENTIN, RETURNS TO WAR AGAINST CHRISTMAS

COLUMIAN MAN CLAIMING TO HAVE REACHED 200 YEAR MARK MAY BE OLDEST MAN ON EARTH

DEMOCRATS SUGGEST AMERICAN FLAG 'BE RID OF THE RED AND BLUE HUES'

 

NEW DONALD TRUMP BOOK TO PROVIDE TIPS TO MIDDLE INCOMERS ON MINIMIZING RED TAPE IN SKYSCRAPER BUILDING PROCESS

NEW NPR FUND RAISER SOLICITS 'AFFORDABLE DONATIONS' OF $100 TO $500

'HILLARY IN '08' SPOKESPERSON: 'MS. RODHAM IS NOT MULLING A WHITE HOUSE RUN. SHE IS COMMITTED TO SERVING OUT ALL OF HER FUTURE SENATE TERMS'

ISLAMIC CLERIC: VIRGIN SHORTAGE LOOMING IN PARADISE

FEDS TO EASE RESTRICTIONS ON 'NON-LETHAL' WEAPONS ON AIRLINES

DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL HEADQUARTERS' BABY SANTA NATIVITY SCENE DRAWS CROWD, IRE

CORPORATE RAIDER CARL ICAHN MAKES BID TO BUY MARY-KATE AND ASHLEY FOR $43.50 PER SHARE