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KERRY BEATS REDSKINS 28-14, BUSH WILL CONTEST GAME RESULT FOR A MONTH OR SO
VOTER FRAUD ALLEGED IN ELECTIONS 2004, 2008
DEMOCRATS CONCERNED ABOUT 'POLL WORKERS MILLING AROUND', CLAIM 'INTIMIDATION'
EXCITEMENT AS NADER JUMPS TO "-1%"
'LACK OF SHOWERS WITH SOAP' BLAMED FOR ARAFAT 'ILLNESS'
BIN LADEN SENT TO HAWAII FOR LAST MINUTE SCARE-OUT-THE-VOTE EFFORT
JOHN MCENROE STILL ON CNBC FOR SOME REASON
EMINEM CLAIMS HARASSMENT AT EARLY-VOTE POLL 'BECAUSE I'M BLACK'
NY TIMES BREAKING: BUSH HAD DUI IN 1976
NY TIMES: 'TONS OF CREDIBILITY VANISHED FROM OUR PAPER'
JIMMY CARTER IN CRITICAL CONDITION OVER CONCERN ABOUT ARAFAT'S
HEALTH
OUNCES OF VIETNAM-ERA INJURY REPORTS 'VANISH' FROM KERRY CAMPAIGN BUNKER
MICHAEL MOORE: ABC TERROR WARNING VIDEO PROVES THERE IS NO TERROR THREAT
WAL-MART ADMITTED TO U.N., MAY PETITION FOR SEAT ON SECURITY
COUNCIL
BREAKING FROM NY TIMES: LIST OF FAILURES IN FIRST 100 DAYS OF
2ND BUSH TERM
'OCTOBER SURPRISE': SEN. JOHN KERRY MAY POSSIBLY BE ELECTED
PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES
KERRY SHOWCASES FAITH, SLEIGHT-OF-HAND ILLUSIONS IN SOUTH
FLORIDA
CROWD OF SPECTATOR APPLAUDS TESTOSTERONEY CHER/ROSIE SHOW
KERRY LANDS COMMANDING STRAW POLL VICTORY IN DARK UNDERBELLY
OF NEW YORK'S SEEDY NIGHT SCENE
'REALLY TAN' WHITE GUY ACCIDENTALLY DENIED RIGHT TO VOTE IN
FLORIDA
KERRY IN BLACK CHURCH: DECRIES GOP 'POLL BOUNCERS' AND 'WHITE PEOPLE MUSIC'
TED KENNEDY OFFER TO DONATE LIVER REJECTED BY LIVER DONATION ORG
ENTREPENEUR MARY-KATE OLSEN RUMORED RELAPSE SHAKES WORLD FINANCIAL MARKETS
10.22.04 :: KERRY/EDWARDS TRANSITION TEAM TO ANNOUNCE
CABINET... DETAILS TO COME...
THIRD TRIMESTER PREGNANT CHAD PROMPTS CONCERN IN FLORIDA EARLY
VOTE
BLACK PERSON ALLOWED TO VOTE IN REPUBLICAN STRONGHOLD OF
ELMHURST
KERRY DENIES BARE-HANDED BOAR HUNT TODAY IS ATTEMPT TO PROVE 'MANLINESS'
CHARGE: JIMMY CARTER ATTEMPTING TO STIFLE WHITE VOTE
WHITE HOUSE SERVANT STAFF ENDORSES BUSH - DEVELOPING...
$1000 FINE FOR DANNY RAMIREZ DIME BAG DEAL IN DUGOUT
TERESA HEINZ: 'IF MY YEARS EMPLOYED AS AN HEIRESS HAS TAUGHT ME ANYTHING, IT'S THAT BEING A TEACHER OR A LIBRARIAN IS NOT A REAL JOB'
HIGH TIMES MAG PROMOTES 'SPAM-FOR-DATES' STRATEGY FOR
EMAIL-ENABLED LOSERS
KERRY: 'NUKE NUISANCE' DOES EXIST
Putin, a Big Important World Leader, Endorses Bush
Red Sox Fans Still Laughing About Kerry Pitch
Man of Faith' Kerry Showcases 'Religious' Side by Appearing in 'Church' With 'Reverend' Jackson
American League Playoffs: Hideki Matsui Leads Boston Red Sox 3-0
Kerry: "I Never Said Bush 'Lied', Just That He Has Mislead Us, Not Told the Truth, and Lied to Us"
Procrastinating Undecideds Nervous About Forthcoming Global Test
Kerry/O'Reilly Debate Plans Stymied by O'Reilly Phone Sex Habit
Recovering Bill Clinton Reportedly 'Not Happy' With All Male Nurse Staff
Presidential Debate Pre-empted for Yankee Coverage
Bill O'Reilly is a Crazy Sex Fiend: Charge
Some Rock & Roll Guy to Deliver Major Foreign Policy Speech from Stage Tonight
Kerry: 'I'm Fascinated by Gansta Rap'
Kerry Suggests 'Sin Tax' for Terrorism, Like Gambling and Prostitution
Bush Opposition to Federal Funding for Stem Cell Research Blamed of Course
People Mag Wins Debate With Entertainment Weekly Over Britney Spears Wedding Legitimacy
Kerry Plans to Release New Plan
Bush/Laura Leading Kerry/Teresa in Polls by Wide Margin
Peaceful Protesters Ransack GOP Headquarters in Orlando
Kerry and Edwards Leave Many Republicans Missing 'More Tolerable' Democrats, Like Clinton and Gore
Edwards' Debate Slip: Former Ambulance-Chaser Addresses Moderator as 'Your Honor'
Bill O'Reilly Steps Out of 'No Spin Zone' Into BS Hallway, Says He Is Undecided Between Bush, Kerry
Edwards Brushing Up on Haliburton Stuff for Debate With Cheney
Kerry Calls Sean Hannity Radio Program, Says 'Nuh Uh'
Debate Aftermath: Bush 'Looked Tired' After 12 Hours of Consoling Hurricane Victims; Kerry Surprisingly Refreshed, Energetic After Nap, Manicure
Kerry Erupts as Mt. Saint Helens Blows Him Off Front Page of Newspapers
Tan Technicians Reportedly Asked Kerry to 'Not Disrobe' at Orange Spray Painting Session
Bush Complains About Orange Glow From Senator Kerry's Lectern Area
Kerry 'In Seclusion' Prepping for Debate Makeup
Kerry Ducks Gore Endorsement Offer by Letting Answering Machine Pick Up
Too Close For Comfort: Asteroid to 'Brush Past' Earth With Only 50 Million Mile Buffer
REPORT: ELECTION MAY HINGE ON SWING CANDIDATE KERRY
KERRY SLIPS WITH CABINET PREVIEW: 'IT'S A BUNCH OF PEOPLE
YOU'LL HATE'
Bush: Kennedy Leaves Americans More Vulnerable to Obesity
Bush: Kennedy Leaves Americans More Vulnerable to Obesity
Leak: Hugo Chavez Thank You Basket to Jimmy Carter Included Fruit, Potpourri, Friendship Locket
Bush Criticized for Anticipated Damage From Approaching Hurricane
7-11 Clerk's Write-In Candidacy Gaining Ground on Kerry
Poll: Women Concerned About Safety Lean Toward Bush, Away From Ugly Kerry
John Kerry Stands by His Iraq Stances
Cat Stevens Travels Back to His Lair
Spybot and Adaware Run Successfully on IRS Computers; Defragmenting to Begin Tomorrow
Teresa Heinz Says Her Husband is a 'Scumbag and a Loose Cannon'
Heinz Endowment Hires Well-Endowed Heinz Spokeswoman
Change Retrieved From Seat Cushions at Emmys to be Used to Pay Down National Debt
CBS Loses Favored 'Single Digit Channel' Status, Moved to Channel 14
Teachers' Lounge Used to Teach Children About Clouds
FoxNews Memo Detailing CBS Bias Being Examined by Experts for Authenticity, Fairness
Bobby Brown Not Arrested Today
Democrats Answer Kerry Likeabillity Poll Numbers: 'We Do Love John Kerry For His Ability to Attack Bush'
Democrats Answer Kerry Likeabillity Poll Numbers: 'We Do Love John Kerry For His Ability to Attack Bush'
Kerry Invites Press Along for Solo Climb to Top of Some Mountain
Kerry Says 'No' to Dukakis Offer of Joint Photo Op in Tank
Mystery Bidder 'THEINZK' Continues to Win Pricey eBay Auctions for Kerry's 'The New Soldier'
Kucinich Supporters for Kerry Call for Peaceful End to Campaign In-fighting
Conservative Republican Senator Zell Miller (D-GA) Gets It
State Dept: Mushroom Cloud of Hot Air in North Korea May Be Result of Jimmy Carter Presence
Palm Beach Democrats Wondering Why Some Floridians Are Installing 'Window Glass Made Out of Plywood'
Kerry Delivers Major Policy Speech to Policy Speechmaking Majors
New Energy Drink Reportedly Turns Consumers Into Their Choice of Pro Athlete or Rap Star
After Hurricane Frances, Floridians Eager to Get Power Back For TV News About Hurricane Ivan, Next Swift Boat Ad
Confusing Slowdown in Florida Mobile Homes Perplexes Palm Beach County Democrats
Clintons Offer Gang of Their Henchmen to 'Help' Kerry Campaign
Leak: Planned October Surprise May Include Nude Spread of Teresa Kerry-Heinz in National Publication
Bush Combats Kerry's 'W Stands for Wrong' Line, Says 'JFK Stands for Just Friggin' Krazy'
CNNGALLUP Poll: Bush Ticket Leads Liberal Media Attack Machine by 11 Points
Sen. Edwards Mulling Run for Presidency in '04
FL Weathermen Hope to Dissuade Destructive Path of Ivan, Declare Early End to Hurricane Season
Panel: Bush Mislead Country When He Called Sen. Kennedy 'A Good Man'
Delta Pilot Breaches Security: Reaches Cockpit With Nail Clippers in Pocket
Florida GOP Fears Loss of FoxNews Cable Broadcasts in Wake of Hurricane Frances
David Copperfield Saws Assistant in Half; Funeral to be Held Tuesday
Bush Praises 'Honorable Service' of Swift Boat Veterans' Ad Company
Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin Not Dead Yet
Kerry Asks GOP to Remove Ads That Attack Moveon.org Attack Ads
Barney Frank Finds Knight in Shining Leisure Suit
Shrill Early Warning Signal Screech Beats Al Franken's Air America Show in Ratings
Bob Graham to Publish Encyclopedia Britannica - Sized 'Diary Memoirs'
Shocker: Swift Boat Veterans for Truth Not Financed By Pro-Kerry Sources!
Swift Boat Veterans for Nader Tied to Bush Through Anti-Kerry Group Financed by Org Opposing George Soros
Republicans Asked Not to Gloat as American Economy Improving Again
Voting Assistance to be Provided for Handicapped, Vision-Impaired, and Democrats
Iraqi Prime Minister Still Alive
CNN Claims 'Unfair & Unbalanced' Charge is 'Only Half Right'
Kerry Denounces 'Right-Wing Attack Machine' for Calling Him 'a Democrat'
Kerry Denounces 'Right-Wing Attack Machine' for Calling Him 'a Democrat'
Florida Officials: Approaching Hurricanes May Overshadow Voting Problems
Kerry Flip-Flops on Skull & Bones Pledge: Criticizes Fellow Bonesman Porter Goss for Stuff
Donald Trump Files Chapter 11, Will Temporarily Move Into Mike Tyson's YMCA Locker to Save Money
Kerry to Introduce Another Version of Self in Major Policy Speech Friday
1968 Buick Electra Introduced to Cuba
Kerry & Edwards on Waiting List for Newfangled Hybrid Electric-Powered Mansions
Unsatisfied With Bounce From Kerry's Convention, Bush Issues New Terror Warning
Unsatisfied With Bounce From Kerry's Convention, Bush Issues New Terror Warning
Left-Wing Opinion Personality Bill O'Reilly to Release Memoirs About Right-Wing Past
Howard Dean Questions 'Timing' of Bush Morning Workout
Kerry's Butler in Hot Water for PB&J Mishap
Teresa Heinz Tells Wealthy Heiress Near Husband to 'Shove It'
Irresponsible Python Owner Found in Python
Leak: Kerry's 'Top Secret Iraq Plan' Includes Carteresque Return to Normalcy
Some Democrat Convention Delegates Caim 'Dis-enfranchisement' by Presence of American Flags
Threat Level Raised at Taco Bell HQ on Elm St.
Threat Level Raised at Taco Bell HQ on Elm St.
Teresa Heinz Busy Working on Addition of English to Her Foreign Language Arsenal
Visuals of Kerry Lip-Locked With Dying Hampster Ruined Speech for Many
Balloon Guy Asks Kerry to Open for Him Again at Next Gig
Bush May Announce bin Laden Capture During Tonight's Speech About Kerry's Vietnam Service
Confused Delegate Thinks Edwards Worked for a Millworker in Vietnam
Kerry to Come Clean About Relationship With Edwards in Tonight's Speech
Al Sharpton Tacks Farther to the Left With Speech to Solidify Whacko Vote for Kerry
Barak Obama Tired of Right Wingers Referring to Him as 'Barak Osama', After Infamous Terrorist Osama bin al-Zawattaheiri
Ron Reagan Jr. Delivers 'Non'-Political Speech Politicizing Stem Cell Funding and Begging for Kerry Votes
'Unexpected' Cable Audio Outages Expected in Red States Tonight During Teresa Heinz Speech
Ted Kennedy Adds to 'No Bush Bashing' Fatwa: Fat Sen. Calls For Conventiongoers to Tone Down 'Chappaquiddick Rhetoric' in Hallways
Thousands of Military Police Armed With Teargas and Machine Guns Struggle to Keep 'Peace' Protesters at Bay
Kerry Handlers Scrambled for Off Button as Teresa Heinz Wandered Dangerously Close to Microphone
Clinton Decides to Allow Kerry to Speak at Convention
America to Stop Inviting Terror Attacks by Ridding Itself of Wealth, Women
9-11 Commission Recommends End to Future Terror Attacks
Larry King is Still Alive
9-11 Commission: Proof that 9-11 Could Have Been Prevented May be in Sandy Berger's Sock Drawer
Timing of Media's Inaction Questioned in Berger Probe
NY Times Stuffs Berger Doc Theft Coverage in its Pants 'Inadvertently' and 'Sloppily'
Lance Armstrong Retakes Lead in Tour de France; Race Nearing Finish With Only 612 Days to go
Court: Donations to NPR Qualify as Contributions to Kerry/Edwards Campaign
Presidential 'Candidate' Dennis Kucinich Mistakes Cough From Back of Room for Applause
Kerry Rejects Al Gore's Suggestion to Talk About Lock Boxes in Debates
Woody Allen & Daughter Celebrate 12th Wedding Anniversary
Kerry-Edwards Union Jeopardized by Talk of Ban on Gay Marriage
Kucinich Camaign Event Attended by Tumbleweed, Silence
Disenfranchised Democrats Claim DNC.org Website is 'Too Confusing', Should be Paper-Based
Study: Only The Rich Can Afford Voting Lessons
'60 Minutes' Plugs Kerry-Edwards Ticket During Investigative Report on 1 Hour Film Processing
Kucinich Claims 'Bump' From Slowdown in Supporters Leaving Campaign
Bush Declines Invite to Speak at 'French Coalition for a Bush-Free America' Event
John Kerry Claims Service in Vietnam, Medals
Poll Knocks Wind Out of GOP Sails: Most Democrats Lean Toward Kerry/Edwards Ticket
Leak: Edwards Added to Kerry Ticket to Win South for Bush
Senate Intelligence Committee Exonerates Bush, Says Prez Didn't 'Lie', but Clinton's CIA Did
Americans Still Trying to Figure Out What Teresa Heinz Said the Other Day
Edwards Changes Stump Speech to 'Three Americas' in Order to Include Size of Kerry Fortune
Leak: Edwards First Choice for Democratic Presidential Nominee Was John McCain
Pro-Choice Kerry Disagrees With Abortion Today
Al Sharpton Re-Enters Presidential Race, Cites 'Lack of Color, Grownups' on Democratic Ticket
Dick Gephardt Claims NY Post Headline Error is Legally Binding, Asks Edwards to 'Step Aside'
No Longer Waiting by the Phone, Bob Graham Returns to Diary
Bush Admin Mulls Plans to Install Pro-American Democracy in Hollywood
Democrats Make Headway Against U.S. in War on Terror
Racist Bill Cosby Dares to Warn Parents Against Letting Rap Music CDs Raise Their Children
U.S. Calls on U.N. to Monitor U.N.
From Prison Cell, Iraqi Information Officer Insists 'Infidel Coalition Forces Have All Been Defeated'
Documentary Box Office Record Previously Set By 'Fahrenheit 9-11' Broken By 'Scooby Doo III'
Prison Guards Crack Up As Saddam Insists He's 'Still President of Iraq'
Gore Offers 'Charisma Tips' To Kerry
Cheney Hands Presidential Power Back to Bush Under Cover of Darkness
Homeless Shelter Offers Inadequate Training Facilities For Mike Tyson's Upcoming Fight; Sparring With Fellow Bagpeople Becoming 'A Problem'
Saudi Arabia Offers Amnesty to Hotel Towel Thieves: Punishment for Returning 'Borrowed' Towels by July 2 Will Be Simple Behanding, Not Beheading
Coalition Officials Mock Excitedly Ignorant Saddam, Pretnd to Hand Sovereignty Back to Him
New Film 'The Day After Fahrenheit 9-11' Depicts Michael Moore Burning To Death In Global Cooling Catastrophe
Illegal Aliens Take Advantage of New Water Stations, ATMs During Border Crossings
CNN Interviewer Rocks Michael Moore With Hardball Question: 'Why Do You Hide Your Cute Fat Face With That Sexy And Scraggly Beard?'
Special Baby Einstein video produced for Remaining Kucinich Supporters; Baby Idiot to be Released in September
BREAKING: WMD Find Found Buried Deep in Classifieds Section of New York Times
Poll: Most Agree With Cheney's Petitioning of Sen. Leahy to "F-Off"
Clinton Making Millions From Idiots Buying His Memoirs For Ceremonial Book Burnings
Teresa Heinz's Likeability Ratings Rival Jimmy Carter Economic Figures
Threat to Kidnap and Behead Michael Moore Greeted By Applause, Encouragement, and Financing Offers
NASA Cuts Brake Lines on Newfangled Commercial Space Ship
Independent Counsel to Investigate Clinton Book 'Because It Can'
New York Times Book Reviewer Sleeping on Clinton's Couch
Kucinich Takes Extended Lunch Break to Write His Memoirs
Continually Absent From Leaderboard, Tiger Woods Pressed By Nike Execs to Try New Trainer, Nike-Brand Tees, Divorce
Kerry Claims New Bush Ad 'Hurt His Feelings', Demands Fourth Purple Heart
Leak: Saucy, Cheeky Teresa Heinz and Hot, Sexy Hillary Rodham to Shock Boston Convention With Madonna-Inspired Lip Lock
'Sexy' and 'Saucy' Teresa Heinz Claims 'Cheeky' Reference Was to Husband's Botoxed Face
Fist-Sized Fetal Formation Excercises Right to Choose, Opts Out of Abortion Death, Chooses Birth
Kerry Battles Bill Clinton Portrait, Chelsea Clinton Makeover for Media Coverage
Pentagon Argues Michael Moore - Al Queda Connection Reason Enough to Topple Fat Film Fabricator
Bush Executive Order Makes Nov. 3, 2004 'National Day of Mourning" Should Kerry Win Election
Media Poll: Conservatives Being Edged Out of Mainstream by More 'Common-Sensed' Left-Wingers
Reagan Criticized for 'Attempting to Silence' Abu Graib Prison Scandal Coverage With Death
Woman Worth Twice As Much As Teresa Heinz Catches John Kerry's Eye at Reagan Funeral
Ted Kennedy Over Morning Carb Limit; Obese Senator Ordered by Concerned Doctor to Settle for Bacon-Wrapped Steak for Lunch
50 Year Harvard Study Reveals Shock: Men, Women Are Different
Kucinich Suspends Campaigning to Get Oil Change
U.S. Threatens to Outsource Massachussetts to India
Move Afoot in Congress to Put Reagan on $10 Bill Challenged by Kerry Camp; Request Submitted to Put Kerry's Face on Vertically-Formatted $20
France, Germany Snub G8 Summit, Will Form G2, Meet in Put Down the Street
Study: Most 'Reagan Democrats' Are Now 'Limbaugh Republicans'
Gerhard Schroeder Continues to Uncomfortably Celebrate Defeat of Germany at Another D-Day Ceremony
Smarty Jones Says Expectations are "Unfair", Cites $10,000 Winning Bet Pays $7
Reagan Health Failing; Democrats Claim GOP is Politically Timing a Debate on How Republicans Won the Cold War
Bank Holding Fourth Mortgage on Kucinich Home Nixes Request by 'Candidate' to Pawn Property in Order to Raise Campaign Cash
Bank Holding Fourth Mortgage on Kucinich Home Nixes Request by 'Candidate' to Pawn Property in Order to Raise Campaign Cash
Al Gore Claims His Ubiquitous Sweat Stains are 'Hard Proof' of Global Warming
Giant Publishers Clearing House Check Stuck in Bank Processing Machine
Giant Publishers Clearing House Check Stuck in Bank Processing Machine
FBI Calms Public: Says Terrorist Theft of Propane Tankers is 'Not Linked to Terrorism'
Killer Whale Murders Peaceful Seal as Environmentalist Whackos Look on in Horror, Denial
Bush Consults With Secret Group of Skull & Bones Neocon Foreign Policy-Influencing Oil Buddies Again
Shares of Met Life in Toilet After Company Agrees to Insure New Iraqi President
Shares of Met Life in Toilet After Company Agrees to Insure New Iraqi President
'Snow Tomorrow' Weather Forecast in Alaska Freaks Out Enviromentalist Intellectuals
'Snow Tomorrow' Weather Forecast in Alaska Freaks Out Enviromentalist Intellectuals
Trailing in Polls, Kucinich Claims 'Secret Foreign Admirers Also'
Butler for Sen. Kerry's Gulfstream V Jet Insists Candidate is 'Just Like Any Regular Guy'
Kofi Annan Nixes John Kerry's Request to 'Skip Broccoli, Go Out and Play'
Butler for Sen. Kerry's Gulfstream V Jet Insists Candidate is 'Just Like Any Regular Guy'
Kofi Annan Nixes John Kerry's Request to 'Skip Broccoli, Go Out and Play'
Terror Specifics Clarified by FBI: Terror Threat to America is Sen. Kerry
Maximum Mullet Limit Reached at Local Wal-Mart
Democrat John McCain Tapped By Hillary For Kerry's VP
Occupation of America by WalMart Concerns Pentagon
Hollywooders in France Hand Michael Moore's Anti-Bush Film 'Surprise' Award
Madeline Albright's Life-Size American Bald Eagle Brooch Proves Her Patriotism
Gas-Through-The-Mail Being Bid to $1.50/gallon in eBay Auctions
France Still Lagging Third-World Countries in Indoor Plumbing
Kweisi Mfume to Cosby: 'What'chu went and done said dat fer?'
Madonna's 'I'm Still a Whore' Tour Begins With a Bang
Unflattering New York Times' Book Review Hurting Bible Sales
Hans Blix to Pose Nude for Underground Muqtada al-Sadr Insurgency Newsletter
9-11 Commission Democrats Accuse Guliani of 'Ineptitude' on 9-11; Gov. Kean Denies Hearing was Dry-Run of SNL Skit
Jane Fonda Complains "Hanoi John" References to Kerry are Tarnishing Her Image
Peter Jennings: Nuclear Explosion in Falujah Today was 'Pretty Small' and was Leftover From 'Old Regime'; Search Still on for WMD 'Smoking Gun'
New Chrome Spinning Rims Make Owner of $700 Car Look Like a High - Rolling Celebrity
Leak: Kerry Speechwriter Scrubs 'Mark of the Beast ID System Proposal' From Campaign Speech
Hillary Clinton Busy Penning Sequel to Dick Morris Best Seller 'Rewriting History'
Explosion of Jobs Stifling Jobless Economic Recovery
Dennis Kucinich Awarded Honorary 'Survivor' Win by CBS
Rumsfeld on Charges That He Approved Interrogation Methods: 'I Only Acted on Directives From My Neocon Puppet Masters'
Afghanistan Prisoner Abuse Allegations Provide Networks With Windfall for Sweeps Week
Photo of Cigar - Smoking Clinton Axed For X-Prez Book Cover
Now That They're Popular, Bono Stops Wearing Ugly Sunglasses
Now That They're Popular, Bono Stops Wearing Ugly Sunglasses
More Space Found on Home Shopping Network for Additional Coverage of Iraqi Prisoner Scandal
Poll: Milwaukee Residents Drinking at Bars Less, Move to Pubs
Defense Secretary Rumsfeld Petitions Drunkard Ted Kennedy to Step Down Over Chappaquidick Mess
Islamic Clerics Argue Mosque Voucher Program Will Offer Freedom of Choice, Better Educated Suicide Bombers
Kerry Considering Gen. Wesley Clark For VP to Fill Absence of "War Hero" on Ticket
New Torture Photos Show Democrats Forced to Watch Kerry Win Their Party's Nomination
'Friends' Finale to be Preempted by More Iraqi Prisoner Abuse Coverage
Blockbuster Revelation in New Kerry Ad: Senator Has Apparently Served in Vietnam
New Torture Tapes of Saddam Forced to Listen to Rush Limbaugh, Bush Speeches Infuriates Dems
Sen. Kerry Holds Commanding Lead as Presumptive Loser of 2004 Presidential Election
French Defense Cuts Leave 'Troops' With Off-White Flags, Non-Aloed Kleenex, Generic Lipstick, and Paper Mache 'Guns'
Sen. Kerry Proposes 'Investment' in Higher Taxes
Couple Taken by Nigerian Email Money Scam: Only Received $24 Million of Promised $35 Million
Kerry Flip-Flops Again on Medals: "I Didn't Throw My Medals Away, I Threw My Credibility Away"
New Gillette Mach 4 Plus HyperTurbo SuperSonic Dynamo Razor Has 8 Blades, is Only $48 for 4
U.S. Military on Alert After Massachusetts Flexes Muscle With Underground Nuke Test
U.S. Military on Alert After Massachusetts Flexes Muscle With Underground Nuke Test
North Korea Nominated to Chair United Nation's Council on Democracy
Yankees Lose to Bronx YWCA Team; Derek Jeter on Fire With 1-for-33 Hitting Streak
64 Anti-Coalition Insurgents in Falujah Suffer From Mysterious Injestion of Ammunition
Flip-Flopping Kerry Flip Flops Again on Vietnam Medal Flip Flop Flop
Kerry: Meaning of 'Medals', 'Ribbons', and Verb 'Is' Are All Interchangeable
Kerry Apologizes for Pricey Bouffant Trim; Will Now Transport Hairdresser in Toyota Prius, Not $35 Million Jet
Kerry's New Foreign Policy Targets Foreign Countries Such as France, Russia, America
Neoliberals in Texas Concocting War Against American Values
Michael Jackson to 'Normalize' Image for Trial: Will Wear Old Nose, Shed Military Outfits
Synchronized Flip-Flopping to Make Olympic Debut
Bush's 'Air Dirtification Initiative' Greeted With Skepticism, Coughs
Dean Attacked, Mauled By Herd of Persistant Dean Supporters
Bob Woodward's Campaign Against Bush HQ Bugged
Iranian Actress Recognized for Valiant Efforts to Increase Land Mine Usage
Kerry Waffles on Religion: Is Now Southern Baptist With Rebel Flag on His Limo
Omarosa Fired From Omarosa.com For Instigating Racial Tensions, Cat Fights
Democrats 'Unite' to Hold Noses and Vote for Kerry
Kevorkian Fights Ban on Partial Death Euthanasia
Time Share Sales in Sunni Triangle Still Slow
Haliburton Olive Branch Offer to Host '08 DNC Convention Rejected
New Misery Index Ties Dan Rather's Smiles Per Hour Inversely to Progress in Iraq
Man With vI@gRa69@aol.com Email Address Not Hearing Back From Friends
Mills Lane to Referee Presidential Debates; Kerry Complains 7-Second Delay Will 'Stifle My F--ing Message'
Herb Ritts Coffee Table Nudes of Madeline Albright Greeted by Lackluster Sales, Nausea
Kerry Clears Air Again: "F** that... I didn't mean what I meant to say."
Bush Blames Howard Stern for Falujah Quagmire, Deficit, Gas Prices
Dick (Clark) to National Security Advisor Rice: "Nugh Uh."
Benedict Arnold Charity Sending Donations Overseas to India
Global Economies Shaken After Temporary eBay Outage
Senator Kerry Put on Ridilin for Flip-Flop Problem
ASHCROFT GREETS AFRICAN AMERICAN VOTERS AT POLL WITH FIRE HOSE
'THE PASSION' TOO VIOLENT FOR HOLLYWOOD; 'FAHRENHEIT 9-11' MAY
REAP OSCAR WINDFALL
Police on Alert As Anti-Semitic Promise Keepers Riot in Stadiums, Arenas Across Country
Marines Invite Sen. Kerry to Falujah to "Watch" Extermination of Anti-American Radicals
Condi Rice Testimony Anticipation: Dems Request 7 Second Delay
Falujah Residents Not Excited to be Chosen For New Round of Hydrogen Bomb Testing
Leak: Trump Fires Carolyn in Apprentice Finale
Dennis Kucinich Tired of People Laughing at Him
Job Growth Roars Back Into Democrat's Real-Life Nightmare
Dan Rather Criticizes 'Bush-Loving Right-Wing Crazies' for Calling Him 'Biased'
Ted Kennedy Roaming Halls of Congress, Seeking Whom He May Devour
President Mulls Deploying Marine Band to Colonize France
Gore Gets Voice Back After Last Week's "Speech"
FEC APPROVES RUSH LIMBAUGH TO DEBATE KERRY IN BUSH'S STEAD
FEC APPROVES RUSH LIMBAUGH TO DEBATE KERRY IN BUSH'S STEAD
AP ERRONEOUSLY REPORTS BARNEY FRANK PREGNANCY
DEAN STUFF MOVES FROM 50% OFF TO 90% OFF BIN
KUCINICH CAMPAIGNING FOR JANITORIAL POSITION IN KERRY ADMIN
'COWBOY' BUSH CRITICIZED FOR NOT BEING COWBOYISH ENOUGH
BUSH TO OUTSOURCE KERRY'S JOB TO SOME FOREIGN COUNTRY
BIN LADEN CAVE RUNNING OUT OF CANNED FOOD, TOILET PAPER