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KARL ROVE CHECKS INTO REHAB AFTER WHITE HOUSE CORRESPONDENTS DINNER RAP PERFORMANCE
U.N. URGES CAUTION AND RESTRAINT IN CALLS FOR RELEASE OF BRITISH HOSTAGES
JOHN EDWARDS OVERDRAWS CAMPAIGN ACCOUNT WITH 7-11 SLURPEE PURCHASE
BARAK OBAMA: AMERICA'S REPUTATION BEING JEOPARDIZED BY BUSH, CURRENT CROP OF AMERICAN IDOL HOPEFULS
AMERICAN IDOL RATINGS DROP BELOW KEITH OLBERMANN'S MSNBC SHOW
FRANCE SURRENDERS TO IRAN OVER CAPTURE OF BRITISH SEAMEN
GOP'S SEARCH FOR 'REAGANESQUE CANDIDATE' INTENSIFIES WITH NEW IRANIAN HOSTAGE CRISIS
HILLARY CLINTON INSISTS SHE'LL 'REACH ACROSS THE AISLE' AT BUSH EFFIGY BURNING EVENT
CORONER: INNOCENT, BUT ACCIDENTAL OVERDOSE OF ILLEGAL DRUGS KILLED ANNA NICOLE SMITH
MEDIA WARNS OBAMA EVENT ATTENDEES AGAINST SUNBURN FROM CANDIDATE'S CHARISMA
BRITISH CELEBS GWYNETH PALTROW AND MADONNA URGE ROYAL NAVY TO 'STOP MEDDLING IN IRANIAN WATERS'
GORE FINGERS N.A.S.A.'S MARS ROVER FOR APPARENT TOXICITY OF RED PLANET'S ATMOSPHERE
GORE GETS 2ND OSCAR FOR THEATRICAL PERFORMANCE AT CAPITOL HILL
GORE WARNS OF 'TRUE PLANETARY EMERGENCY' IF CONGRESS FAILS TO SHUT DOWN INDUSTRY
DON KING, WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION COLLABORATE TO AIR GLOBAL WARMING PAY-PER-VIEW DEBATE
SEN. McCAIN RECONSIDERS IRAQ WAR POSITION AFTER POLL
NORTH KOREA NUKE TALKS ON HOLD UNTIL PLUTONIUM ENRICHMENT COMPLETED
BUSH SUPPORTS GONZALES IN TRIMMING OF JUDICIAL BRANCH'S 'DEAD WOOD'
HILLARY CLINTON TO TOUR WITH RAPPER SNOOP DOG IN ATTEMPT TO COURT BLACK VOTE
KEITH OLBERMANN SPENDS FULL PROGRAM ON BUSH AUTOGRAPH SPELLING ERROR
AIR AMERICA BUYER LOSES RECEIPT, IS STUCK WITH PURCHASE
HAMAS AND FATAH AGREE TO UNITY GOV, PEACEFUL DESTRUCTION OF ISRAEL
FCC FINES ABC FOR LURID LOVEMAKING SCENE DURING BARBARA WALTERS INTERVIEW WITH HUGO CHAVEZ
VALERIE PLAME WOWS CONGRESSIONAL HEARING WITH 'HOT BLOND SECRET SPY LOOK'
BANK DECLINES JOHN McCAIN'S CAMPAIGN WARCHEST AS COLLATERAL FOR JETSKI LOAN
HILLARY'S PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN LEFT 'GULPING FOR AIR' AFTER NEW BILL CLINTON AFFAIR ALLEGATIONS SURFACE
SENATE REFUSES TO PASS U.S. FRENCHIFICATION BILL, TROOPS TO STAY IN IRAQ
SEN. CLINTON SIDESTEPS QUESTIONS ON IMMORALITY OF ASEXUALITY
GITMO MANAGEMENT DENIES KHALID SHEIKH MOHAMMED'S CONFESSION FOLLOWED JACK BAUER VISIT
HAMAS SOFTENS IMAGE BY SWAPPING 'ANNIHILATION OF JEWS' WITH DESTRUCTION OF JEWS' IN CHARTER
GORE PLANTS DOZEN SEQUOIA TREES AS CARBON OFFSET FOR NEXT MONTH'S PRIVATE JET USAGE
OBAMA: NOBODY SUFFERS MORE THAN FREEDOM FIGHTING PALESTINIAN SUICIDE BOMBERS
GOOGLE STRIKES BACK AT VIACOM'S $1 BILLION LAWSUIT, SUES VIACOM FOR $1 GOOGLE
JOHN EDWARDS HOPES DISCOVERY OF BLACK AUNT IGNITES FLOUNDERING CAMPAIGN
SEN. CLINTON: 'I WILL BE THE FIRST BLACK-MINDED FEMALE PRESIDENT, JUST LIKE JFK'
POLL: MODERATE DEMOCRATS LIKE GIULIANI FOR ABORTION STANCE, AND CAN FORGIVE HIS 'POST 9-11 DETERMINATION TO FIGHT BACK'
NJ CONGRESSMAN (D - NJ) RESERVES CAPITOL BOARDROOM FOR BIN LADEN, MULLAH OMAR MEETING
ANTI-BUSH PROTESTER CHUCK HAGEL COURTS GOP PRIMARY VOTERS
JOHN EDWARDS AGREES TO DEBATE HOSTED BY DEMOCRATIC PARTY AND SUBSIDIARY CNN
FOX NEWS CHIEF AILES: 'EVEN FAT TEDDY CONFUSED OBAMA AND OSAMA, EVERYONE'S DOING IT'
ANGELINA JOLIE GIVES BIRTH TO NEWLY-ADOPTED AFRICAN KID
FARRAKHAN MOVES TOWARD NORMALIZING RELATIONS WITH REST OF WORLD
LESS-THAN-NORMALLY-GRIM NEWS BRIGHTENS FRONT PAGE OF NY TIMES
FREDERICK PRICE BASKS IN CAMERA'S GLOW DURING SON'S SERMON ABOUT FATHER'S HUMILITY
SECRET SERVICE QUESTIONS HUGO CHAVEZ ON 'ALL THE DEATH THREATS AND WHAT NOT'
NEWT GINGRICH BLAMES AFFAIR ON 'MY INNER CLINTON'
EU FOREIGN POLICY CHIEF JAVIER SOLANA NOT ANTICHRIST SAYS PUBLIC RELATIONS DEMON
PROGRESSIVE BLOG DAILY KOS: 'BITCH' ANN COULTER OWES APOLOGY TO JOHN EDWARDS
CNN: BUSH TOURS LATIN AMERICAN DESPITE INTIMIDATING ANTI-BUSH PROTESTS
FORMER PRESIDENT CARTER CRITICIZES ISRAEL FOR HAMAS ROCKET ATTACK ON TEL AVIV
DEMS PUSH FOR IRAQ PULLOUT 'AS SOON AS OUR DEFEAT CAN BE SECURED'
JAMES CAMERON CLAIMS TO HAVE FOUND CRIME COMMITTED BY LEWIS LIBBY
ROSIE O'DONNELL REARS ITS UGLY HEAD AGAIN, BLASTS FOX'S 'IDOL'
McCAIN ASKS FOR RECOUNT IN CPAC STRAW POLL
BARAK OBAMA DELIVERS SERMON FROM ALABAMA CHURCH DENOUNCING GOP CANDIDATES 'WHO USE THE PULPIT FOR POLITICAL PURPOSES'
DEFENSE ATTORNEY SEES 'QUITE A FEW HOLES' IN MAN'S ADMISSION OF DISMEMBERING WIFE
CLINTON, OBAMA REFUSE TO CLASH AT EVENT COMMEMORATING CIVIL RIGHTS CLASH
O.J. SIMPSON 'ALMOST NABBED' WIFE'S KILLER AT MIAMI NIGHTCLUB
DOW POISED FOR SOME KIND OF FLUCTUATION THIS WEEK: EXPERT
BARAK OBAMA: 'I DON'T CARE HOW BLACK YOU ARE, VOTE FOR ME ANYWAY'
REUTERS BREAKING: ANNA NICOLE SMITH'S COFFIN HOISTED, PALLBEARERS PREPARE TO TAKE STEP FORWARD
SCIENTIST: NEW SATURN PICS DEMONSTRATE THE 'BEAUTY OF AN INTELLIGENTLY DESIGNED BIG BANG'
REPORT: SEN. TED KENNEDY'S FLATUENCE FOOTPRINT EXCEEDS 20X AVERAGE
THOUSANDS OF 'PROGRESSIVES' VOLUNTEER TO GO HOMELESS, CARLESS, AND NUDE TO OFFSET GORE'S CARBON FOOTPRINT
BARAK OBAMA REJECTS SEN. CLINTON'S 'PEACE OFFER' OF CEMENT SHOES AND ALL-EXPENSE-PAID FISHING TRIP
SCIENTIST: FLORIDA TORNADOES WERE CAUSED BY GORE MANSION
SEN. McCAIN LULLS LETTERMAN AUDIENCE TO SLEEP WITH CANDIDACY ANNOUNCEMENT