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PUBLIC SCHOOLS PUSH FOR BAN ON EPHEDRA BASED OBESITY CONTROL SUPPS FOR KIDS


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5 YR OLD PLAME-WILSON KID EXPOSES CIA FOR SECRET SPY AGENCY


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TOM CRUISE GAY RUMORS HUSH MONEY PROVIDES BOOST TO U.S. ECONOMY


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U.S. MILITARY TO INVESTIGATE ENCOURAGING REPORTS THAT HUSSEIN WAS BEATEN IN CUSTODY


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REPORT: AL SHARPTON LOBBIED FOR 'TOOKIE' WILLIAMS DESPITE INMATE'S ANTI-GANG PREACHING


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FUNNY LIBERALS THINK AMERICANS ARE CONCERNED ABOUT SADDAM'S TORTURE CLAIMS


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MEDIA BACKSIDE GLOWS RED AFTER BUSH SPEECH


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POLL: TOUPEE WEARERS ARE 'TECHNICAL LIARS'

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PLASTIC ONO BAND REUNITES; JOHN LENNON ACTION FIGURE TO PLAY LEAD TO HORRIBLE YOKO VOCALS


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ANTACID SHORTAGE REPORTED IN BLUE STATES AFTER WILDLY SUCCESSFUL RAQ ELECTIONS


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BUSH CRITICIZED FOR 'OVERLY SUCCESSFUL' IRAQI ELECTIONS


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KERRY, GORE TRAVEL TO IRAQ TO ADVISE ON ELECTION COMPLAINTS


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SCIENTIST: DICK CLARK AGES 2.4 MONTHS PER YEAR


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NEW YORK TIMES IRAQ REPORTER FIRED FOR GOOD NEWS LEAK


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TERRY MCAULIFFE PROMOTES PAL'S PENNY STOCK DURING SPEECH ON NATIONAL SECURITY


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DEMOCRATS: BUSH 'ARROGANT' FOR TAKING QUESTIONS AFTER SPEECH


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FEDERAL AIR MARSHALS TO EXTEND PROTECTIVE SERVICES TO TRAINS, CRUISE SHIPS, PRIVATE AUTOMOBILES


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MIKE FERREL LEAVES SAN QUENTIN, RETURNS TO WAR AGAINST CHRISTMAS


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COLUMIAN MAN CLAIMING TO HAVE REACHED 200 YEAR MARK MAY BE OLDEST MAN ON EARTH


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DEMOCRATS SUGGEST AMERICAN FLAG 'BE RID OF THE RED AND BLUE HUES'
 

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NEW DONALD TRUMP BOOK TO PROVIDE TIPS TO MIDDLE INCOMERS ON MINIMIZING RED TAPE IN SKYSCRAPER BUILDING PROCESS


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NEW NPR FUND RAISER SOLICITS 'AFFORDABLE DONATIONS' OF $100 TO $500


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'HILLARY IN '08' SPOKESPERSON: 'MS. RODHAM IS NOT MULLING A WHITE HOUSE RUN. SHE IS COMMITTED TO SERVING OUT ALL OF HER FUTURE SENATE TERMS'

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ISLAMIC CLERIC: VIRGIN SHORTAGE LOOMING IN PARADISE


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FEDS TO EASE RESTRICTIONS ON 'NON-LETHAL' WEAPONS ON AIRLINES


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DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL HEADQUARTERS' BABY SANTA NATIVITY SCENE DRAWS CROWD, IRE


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CORPORATE RAIDER CARL ICAHN MAKES BID TO BUY MARY-KATE AND ASHLEY FOR $43.50 PER SHARE


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