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REPORT: SEN. CLINTON WALKS FINE LINE BETWEEN OPPOSING AMERICA AND WANTING TO BE ITS PRESIDENTRESS


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NEW IPOD TO HOLD UP TO ONE TRILLION SONGS, DEPENDING ON FILE SIZE


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BUSH: 'VICTORY WILL COME WHEN IRAQ IS NO LONGER A SAFE HAVEN FOR IBERAL DEMOCRATS PLOTTING ATTACKS ON OUR NATION'


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HOLIDAY RETAIL REPORT: POPULAR G.I. JOE DOLLS LOSING GROUND TO XBOX'S SOFT PORN VIDEO 'GAME' TITLES


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AL FRANKEN COMEDY GIG CANCELED DESPITE HILARIOUS 'BUSH THE BABY LLER' BIT


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SCIENTIST CONFIRMS: LARRY KING STILL ALIVE

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LIBERALS ARMOR-UP FOR BATTLES OVER 'OFFENSIVE CHRISTMAS SLANT' ON HOLIDAY SEASON

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FLAVOR FLAV FAN CLUB RETRACTS BANKRUPTCY APPLICATION IN WAKE OF W MILLER BEER COMMERCIAL GIG

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REPORT: CHANUKWANZAMAS HOLIDAY SEASON NEARING 'OFFENSELESS POLITICAL PERFECTION'

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TED TURNER: KIM JONG IL IS 'NO DIFFERENT THAN YOU, ME, OR DR. PHIL'

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KERRY-EDWARDS BUMPER STICKERS REACH MONDALE-FERRARO STATUS

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RAMSEY CLARK: I CHOSE TO DEFEND SADDAM BECAUSE I MISSED OUT ON DEFENDING O.J., BUNDY, AND DAHMER

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NEW YORK TIMES: LITTLE-KNOWN BROADCASTER RUSH LIMBAUGH MAKING BIG WAVES

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LAWYER IN SADDAM CASE DIES OF 'NATURAL GUN WOUNDS'

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QUAGMIRES REPORTED AT 18 MALLS NATIONWIDE

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REPORT: ALAN COLMES TO RENOUNCE LIBERALISM ON HIS DEATH BED

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POLL: SHAPE OF CRANBERRY SAUCE STILL TRUMPS POLITICS AS PREFERRED THANKSGIVING DINNER DISCUSSION TOPIC

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BUSH MAKES THANKSGIVING CALL TO CINDY SHEEHAN 'TO THANK HER FOR HER SERVICE'

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HAPPY HOLIDAYS: WAL-MART ASSAULTS, LOOTING WIDESPREAD

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EXPERT ON CHANCE OF BIRD FLU OCCURRING IN ANY OF 45 MILLION THANKSGIVING TURKEYS: 'WE'LL HAVE TO WAIT AND SEE NOW, WON'T WE?'

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DNC CHAIR DEAN: SEN. KERRY'S 'UNBELIEVABLE' PERFORMANCE AS JURY FOREMAN PROVES HE WAS FIT FOR DUTY

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SYMPATHY VOTE CATAPULTS JOHN KERRY TO JURY FOREMAN SPOT

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VEGETARIANS REJECT NEW TURKEY-BASED TOFU-FLAVORED TURKEY

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SHERYL CROW WINS FOR 'BEST ANTI-BUSH DIATRIBE' AT AMERICAN MUSIC WARDS

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'REAL LIFE CHER' MAKES CAMEO APPEARANCE IN NEW XBOX 360 GAME

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U.N. SECURITY COUNCIL TO ADDRESS THREAT FROM INTERNET POP-UP ADS

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CHRIS MATTHEWS: I'M NOT EVIL, YOU JUST HAVE A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE

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CHENEY CALLS FOR 'IMMEDIATE WITHDRAWAL' OF DEMOCRATS FROM U.S. CONGRESS

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LARRY FLYNT TAPPED TO SPEARHEAD DEMOCRAT'S FAMILY VALUES INITIATIVE

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IRAN REITERATES NUKES ARE FOR 'OIL ENERGY PURPOSES ONLY'

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DEMOCRTATS DEMAND BUSH SET IRAQ SURRENDER DATE

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FRENCH RUNNING OUT OF WHITE FLAGS

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PUBLIC ED CZAR: FAILURE RATIOS WITHIN 'ACCEPTABLE LEVELS'

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CHIRAC 'REACHES OUT' TO RIOTERS; OFFERS APOLOGIES, WEAPONS, LIGHTER FLUID IN EXCHANGE FOR PEACE

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SEN. KENNEDY PRESSED FOR EXIT STRATEGY FROM PALM BEACH BAR SCENE

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SUCCESSFUL CHEMO TREATMENT RIDS PHILADELPHIA EAGLES OF 'ALL TRACES OF T.O.'

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BUSH IN CHINA, CRITICIZED FOR 'HIDING' DURING WESTERN HEMISPHERE'S NEWS CYCLES

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JEW IN SAUDI ARABIA RIOTS, CITES 'INADEQUATE ASSIMILATION INTO HARDLINE ISLAMIC SOCIETY'


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HUGO CHAVEZ ANNOUNCES BID FOR MASSACHUSETTS CONGRESSIONAL SEAT

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CNN MULLS RELEASING U.S. VERSION OF ITS CABLE NETWORK


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SEN. DURBIN DENIES RESPONSIBILITY FOR JORDAN HOTEL ATTACKS

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G.O.P. MAY 'SIT OUT' '08 PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION AFTER CRIPPLING LOSS OF TWO GOVERNORSHIPS

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FOX NEWS' BREAKING NEWS JINGLE REACHES BILLBOARD TOP 10


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HISTORY CHANNEL TO DOCUMENT LIVES OF PIRATES THAT ATTACKED TWIN TOWERS ON 9-11


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FRANCE FALLS TO RIOTERS; SEN. KERRY CALLS FOR 'PEACE IN OUR TIME'


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PROFIT-MOTIVATED STORES ALREADY DISPLAYING CHRISTMAS '06 MERCHANDISE


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EXPERT: REAL ESTATE BUBBLE MAY HAVE BURST, FREE HOUSES STAYING ON MARKET LONGER

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SEGA'S 'DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES 2K6' FOR XBOX HITS SHELVES


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ABERCROMBIE & FITCH CALLS FOR BOYCOTT OF 'MORAL PRUDES'


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FRENCH POLICE CONTINUE TO FROWN AT MUSLIM-LOOKING RIOTERS
 

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FRENCH POLICE CRITICIZED FOR PUNISHING RIOTERS WITH 'DIRTY LOOKS'

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BUSH ON ARGENTINE SUMMIT: 'I'D RATHER BE HAVING LUNCH WITH THE CONGRESSIONAL BLACK CAUCUS'

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FANS AT MTV AWARDS: 'MADONNA IS STILL A TWENTY-SOMETHING IN OUR EYES'

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BUSH MAKES 542nd VISIT TO CRAWFORD RANCH SINCE BUYING PROPERTY

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PBS DOCUMENTARY EXPLORES JUDGE ALITO'S 'SUNNY-SIDE UP' EGG PREFERENCE

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JOHN KERRY URGES U.S. SURRENDER TO 'MUSLIM-LOOKING' FRENCH RIOTERS

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REQUESTS TO 'SHOWER WITH SOAP' SEND PARISIANS INTO 8TH DAY OF RIOTING

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STAMP PRICE INCREASE MAY CURB HOLIDAY SPENDING

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SEN. KENNEDY: BUSH CONCOCTING ANOTHER HURRICANE TO DIVERT ATTENTION FROM ROVE TROUBLES

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LIBERALS: ISLAMIC RADICALS UNDERREPRESENTED ON SUPREME COURT

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