Parent Site | All Headlines | Follow us on Twitter | Store | Contact Us

 
BUSH URGES CANADA TO RECALL PETER JENNINGS

 
BUSH NOMINATES KELLOG'S TONY THE TIGER FOR COMMERCE SECRETARY
 
 
MICHAEL MOORE GETS STAR ON HOLLYWOOD WALK OF SHAME
 
 
SMOKERS DYING OVER HIGH CIGARETTE PRICES
 
 
U.N. URGES UKRANIANS TO RESOLVE ELECTION DISPUTE BY 'SITTING AROUND AND HOPING'

 
JONES SODA INTRODUCES 'CASTOR OIL' AND 'DOG MESS' FLAVORS

 
WAL-MART RUNNING OUT OF MULLET COMBS AND THOSE CHEAP TVS THEY ALWAYS PUSH

 
NATION'S TARGETS DOWN TO 8 OPEN PARKING SPOTS

 
BARRED FROM THANKING 'GOD', PUBLIC SCHOOL KIDS OPT TO THANK LUNCH LADY AND CONDOM DISTRIBUTOR
 
 
SURVEY: MOST PEOPLE NOT IMPRESSED WITH 'GANGSTER CARS'
 
 
SCOTT PETERSON DYES HAIR BLONDE AGAIN IN ATTEMPT TO DUCK DEATH PENALTY
 
 
OJ SIMPSON CLAIMS PROGRESS IN PURSUING 'KILLER' ON MIAMI'S GOLF COURSES
 
 
HOLIDAY FESTIVITIES THREATEN TO INTERFERE WITH TRAVEL PLANS FOR SOME
 
 
MICHAEL MOORE DIAGNOSED WITH FAT COW DISEASE... DEVELOPING...
 
 
DNC PLANS FOR 'WINNING ELECTIONS IN THE FUTURE' BY MORE AGGRESSIVELY FINANCING OHIO RECOUNT
 
 
COURT ORDERS THAT 'SOME SUPERNATURAL, TOLERANT, AND POLITICALLY CORRECT BEING' BE THANKED, NOT GOD
 
 
OZZY OSBOURNE BITES HEAD OFF BURGLAR DURING BREAK-IN SCUFFLE
 
 
MINUTES WORTH OF BASKETBALL GAMEPLAY BREAKS OUT IN MIDDLE OF CHICAGO BULLS - PHOENIX SUNS FIGHT
 
 
NBA COMMISSIONER LEVIES STIFF PUNISHMENT ON SPECTATORS: BANS ASSAULT ON PLAYERS, MISSILE PROJECTING, HECKLING, CHEERING
 
 
KERRY BLAMES FOXNEWS FOR HIS FAILURE; SAYS NETWORK 'DISPLAYED MY FACE IN ATTEMPT TO TURN OFF VOTERS'
 
 
DETROIT PISTONS' FANS SUSPENDED FOR 10 GAMES...DEVELOPING...
 
 
NBA, NHL, BOXING TO MERGE DUE TO 'SIMILARITY OF PLAY'
 
 
ALEXANDER SCHOLZYNISTAN WADES INTO STANDS AT CHESS MATCH, BLOODIES CHESS HECKLER
 
 
NATION ON EDGE TODAY AS 'PROFESSIONAL' SPORTING EVENTS TAKE PLACE
 
 
PACERS' RON ARTEST: 'I DON'T GET PAID ENOUGH TO NOT JUMP INTO THE STANDS AND BEAT UP FANS'
 
 
VISITORS TO RAINY CLINTON LIBRARY OPENING WARY ABOUT CATCHING COLD, VENEREAL DISEASES
 
 
ALL HECK BREAKS LOSE IN SO-CALLED 'PROFESSIONAL' SPORTS
 
 
CLINTON: 'THE LIBRARY REPRESENTS MY PURPOSE, MY VISION, MY LIBIDO'
 
 
CROWD OF ONLOOKERS DISAPPOINTED AS METEOR TURNS OUT ONLY TO BE ALIEN SPACECRAFT
 
 
BUSH CAUGHT IN VERBAL GAFFE, SAID CLINTON 'SERVED AMERICA'
 
 
CLINTON LIBRARY OPENING SHOWCASES END OF CHELSEA CLINTON'S 'AWKWARD STAGE'
 
 
GOTTI BRAT SCREAMS 'DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!" WHILE GETTING BEAT TO A MUCH-DESERVED PULP
 
 
OUSTED SEN. DASCHLE FINDS WORK AS MALE PAGE FOR BARNEY FRANK'S CONGRESSIONAL OFFICE
 
 
CLINTON LIBRARY'S 'WOMEN OF ILL REPUTE' WING RUNS OUT OF SPACE, MOVED TO NEARBY WHAREHOUSES
 
 
MYSTERIOUS IMAGE OF VIRGIN MARY APPEARS IN CHURCH STAINED GLASS WINDOW DEPICTING CHRIST BIRTH
 
KERRY PREPS TO GIVE SPEECH SAYING BUSH 'BETRAYED OUR COUNTRY... HE PLAYED ON OUR FEARS!'
 
 
SEN. SPECTER: 'I APOLOGIZE FOR MY CONTROVERSIAL STATEMENT THE OTHER DAY, WHICH I DID NOT SAY'
 
 
THE LEFT MOVES TOWARD SANITY, WILL CALM DOWN AND ONLY 'GO NUTS' FROM NOW ON
 
 
SWIFT BOAT VETS ENCOURAGE KERRY TO RUN AGAIN IN '08
 
 
MACHINE GUN NEST OPERATOR TOLD TO 'KEEP IT DOWN' DURING AFTERNOON PRAYERS AT MOSQUE
 
 
PROVING MEN'S DESIRE FOR NEW AND UNFAMILIAR WOMEN, BILL CLINTON EYES HILLARY AT LIBRARY OPENING
 
 
WAL-MART SECURITY COUNCIL FILES RESOLUTION TO BAR SEARS/K-MART MERGER
 
 
GRILLED CHEESE WITH VIRGIN MARY APPARITION AUCTION ON EBAY REACHES $3 IN BIDDING FRENZY
 
 
DEMOCRATS TO RE-TOOL PARTY, BEGIN TALKING ABOUT 'RELIGIOUS STUFF'
 
 
NEW REALITY HUNTING SHOW THREATENS TO SHOW FOOTAGE OF INNOCENT ANIMALS BEING 'HARMED'
 
 
THE LEFT COMES CLEAN ABOUT THEIR CRAZY IDEAS: 'SURPRISE, AMERICA, YOU'RE ON CANDID CAMERA'
 
 
OHIO DEMOCRAT IS ASKED TO BE LAST MAN TO DIE FOR KERRY'S CAMPAIGN
 
 
SHOCKING CLAY AIKEN ANNOUNCEMENT ABOUT HIS SEXUAL ORIENTATION TURNS OUT TO JUST BE ABOUT CHARITY GIG
 
 
GUNSHOTS AT VIBE MUSIC AWARDS WERE 'IN MOURNING OVER ARAFAT'S DEATH'
 
 
COLIN POWELL'S LIGHT SKIN TONE RENDERS CONDI FIRST 'REAL' BLACK SECRETARY OF STATE
 
 
NEW CLINTON LIBRARY CAN BE SMELLED FROM MILES AWAY
 
ARAFAT WONDERING WHAT'S UP WITH ALL THE FIRE AND BRIMSTONE IN HEAVEN
 
 
BUSH ADDS TOM DASCHLE TO LIST OF '75% OF TERRORIST LEADERS KILLED OR PUT OUT OF COMMISSION'
 
 
COLIN POWELL RESIGNS OVER LACK OF WHITE PEOPLE IN BUSH CABINET...DEVELOPING...
 
 
CIA: AL QUEDA PLANNED TO SNEAK NUKES INTO U.S. HIDDEN IN NUCLEAR SUITCASES
 
 
TONIGHT ON CNN: 'EVANGELICALS: WHO ARE THEY, AND WHERE DID THEY COME FROM?'
 
 
MAHMOUD ABBAS WELCOMED TO PALESTINIAN LEADERSHIP BY ATTEMPT ON HIS LIFE
 
 
BUSH COMMENT ON MICHAEL MOORE FAHRENHEIT SEQUEL: 'GOD REST HIS SOUL'
 
 
BUSH POPULAR VOTE MARGIN INCREASES; EDWARDS SAYS THERE'S 'NO NEED TO COUNT EVERY VOTE'
 
FALLUJAH 90% PAVED
 
 
KERRY: 'OUR DIVIDED COUNTRY MUST UNITE, AND FIGHT THE LIES OF THIS PRESIDENT, A TERRIBLE FAILURE, BY THE WAY'
 
 
MARINES FROM JERSEY CITY FEEL 'AT HOME' IN FALLUJAH
 
 
SCOTT PETERSON MAINTAINS POOL CHLORINE DYED HAIR BLONDE AND SPROUTED GOATEE ON FACE
 
 
PAYMENT OF HIGH-PROFILE LEGAL VICTORY NO LONGER POSSIBLE, GERAGOS SETTLES FOR $27 LEFT ON SCOTT PETERSON'S VISA CARD
 
 
SCOTT PETERSON FACES ADDITIONAL COUNT OF THIRD DEGREE MURDER IN DEATH OF MARK GERAGOS' CAREER
 
 
KERRY SET TO PEN MEMOIRS: 'I GUESS I WAS UNFIT FOR COMMAND'
 
 
JIMMY CARTER CONVINCES PALESTINIAN AUTHORITY TO LEAVE PLOT NEXT TO ARAFAT OPEN 'FOR WHEN I GO'
 
 
NEWS ORGS SCAMBLE TO WRITE OBITS AFTER UNEXPECTED ARAFAT DEATH

 
RUBBLE AND TRASH BEING BULLDOZED IN RAMALLAH TO PROVIDE ROOM FOR BURIAL OF ARAFAT CADAVER

 
O.J. PETERSON JURY MEMBER DISMISSED TO WRITE BOOK
 
 
RICH WHITE RACIST BUSH ADDS ANOTHER POOR MINORITY TO CABINET... DEVELOPING...
 
 
TOM DASCHLE PULLED FROM SPIDER HOLE IN FALLUJAH
 
 
BREAKING NEWS ALERT: ARAFAT NOT DEAD YET
 
 
CONDO SALES IN FALLUJAH SLOW TO CRAWL
 
 
FIDEL CASTRO TURNS DOWN DNC CHAIR OFFER; CALLS PARTY 'TOO RADICAL'
 
 
DNC ATTEMPTS TO MODERATE LEADERSHIP, CONSIDERS HOWARD DEAN FOR CHAIRMAN
 
 
FALLUJAH RESIDENTS MISS 'GOOD OLD DAYS, WHEN TERROR ALERT WAS JUST RED'
 
 
BUSH POST-ELECTION VICTORY SPEECH CONVINCED 73% OF STILL-UNDECIDEDS
 
 
MCGREEVEY FAREWELL ADDRESS HIGHLIGHTS LIST OF ACHIEVEMENT
 
 
KERRY OFFERED GORE TEACHING ASSISTANT POSITION

 
SECRET SERVICE PROTECTION GONE, KERRY MOBBED BY FANS WANTING TO RETURN AUTOGRAPHED STUFF

 
EDUCATORS: THEORY OF CREATION ONLY ACCEPTABLE IF 'CREATION OF SOMETHING FROM NOTHING' FACT INCLUDED

 
HOWARD DEAN LEADS IN PRIMARY RACE FOR NOMINATION OF CHESTER BEND, VERMONT WOMEN'S CIVIC CLUB ASSISTANT TREASURER

 
KERRY TAKES ONE LAST LOOK AT OHIO PRECINCT NUMBERS 'JUST IN CASE'

 
DEMOCRATS WONDERING: 'WHAT IN OUR BIZARRO WORLD WENT SO WRONG?'

 
WAL-MART EYES PROPERTY ADJACENT TO PLANNED FALLUJAH PARKING LOT

 
KERRY: 'MY CHANCES OF WINNING THAT ELECTION WERE DASHED WHEN I BECAME MY PARTY'S CANDIDATE'
 
 
ARAFAT WALKS AWAY FROM NEGOTIATIONS AFTER DOCTORS OFFERED 97% OF HEALTH, SANITY BACK

 
DAN RATHER, MICHAEL MOORE, AL FRANKEN, EMINEM, AND NAMBLA MEET AT MOVEON.ORG HQ TO FIGURE OUT 'WHY AMERICA DIDN'T LIKE KERRY'

 
ARAFAT DOCTORS EXIT-POLLED: 2 SAY 'ALIVE', 3 SAY 'DEAD'

 
LIFE INSURANCE COMPANIES CANCEL POLICIES FOR FALLUJAH-BASED TERRORISTS

 
STOCK IN SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE PLUMMETS ON TERESA HEINZ KERRY'S ELECTION LOSS

 
LOTS OF KERRY STUFF DUMPED INTO 90%-OFF BIN

 
KERRY TO TAKE UP MODEL AIRPLANES AGAIN

 
BUSH TO KERRY SUPPORTERS: 'I'D LIKE TO REACH OUT TO YOU... AND PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE'

 
BUSH URGED TO 'UNITE NATION' BY IMPLEMENTING RADICAL LEFT-WING AGENDA

 
SOROS DISASTER: LIBERAL INVESTOR LOST RECEIPT TO $10 MILLION SPENT ON KERRY CANDIDACY

 
SEN. DASCHLE PULLED FROM SPIDER HOLE, COAXED BY POLICE INTO STRAIGHT JACKET

 
REDSKINS APOLOGIZE FOR MISLEADING PRE-ELECTION GAME LOSS

 
HILLARY CALLS KERRY TO CONCEDE THE FACT THAT SHE HASN'T REALLY BEEN PULLING FOR HIM

 
FLORIDA PROBLEMS: EXIT POLLS POINT TO BUSH/EDWARDS LEAD
 
 
KERRY CONCEDES TO BUSH, BLAMES LOSS ON 'THE DEMOCRATS' CHOICE OF CANDIDATE'

 
MICHAEL MOORE, FRAUD, RUSHES TO OHIO TO FILM PROVISIONAL BALLOT FRAUD

 
EXIT POLL GUY NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO NEXT PERFORMANCE REVIEW

 
PEOPLE WHO THOUGHT KERRY WAS ANTI-CHRIST COMING TO POWER WRONG AGAIN

 
11PM ELECTION SURPRISE: LARRY KING STILL PRETTY MUCH AWAKE

 
NADER GETS ANOTHER VOTE

 
FIRST LAWSUIT CALLED FOR KERRY, 11% OF LAWYERS COUNTED

 
UNITED NATIONS CALLS AMERICAN ELECTION FOR KERRY

 
PTD CALLS MASSACHUSETTS FOR KERRY; 0% OF PRECINCTS COUNTED

 
"YES" LEADING "NO" BY 4 POINTS IN EXIT POLL ON GRANITEVILLE, IOWA AMENDMENT INITIATIVE

 
NY TIMES ELECTION MORN FRONT PAGE TO FEATURE KERRY WITH SHOTGUN, SNOWBOARD, & AMERICAN FLAG BROOCH
 
 
KERRY TAKES FIRST WAVE OF EXIT POLLS AS MANDATE, ASKS BUSH TO CONCEDE

 
MICHAEL MOORE IN FLORIDA PROTECTING SANCTITY OF ELECTION
 
 
COURT: HAVING TO PRODUCE IDENTIFICATION DOES NOT CONSTITUTE 'VOTE SUPPRESSION'

 
'VOTER INTIMIDATION' CHARGED AT TX PRECINCT: PRESENCE OF BUSH LEAD KERRY VOTERS TO SECOND GUESS THROWING AWAY THEIR VOTE

 
KERRY CAMP BLAMES BUSH FOR PLANTING KERRY VOTES IN PHILLY MACHINES

 
NON-PARTISAN WEEKLY ENDORSES 'VICTOR OF TODAY'S ELECTION' FOR PRESIDENT OF THE U.S.

 
FLORIDA PROBLEMS: EXIT POLLS POINT TO BUSH/EDWARDS LEAD

 
NY TIMES ELECTION MORN FRONT PAGE FEATURES KERRY WITH SHOTGUN, SNOWBOARD, & AMERICAN FLAG BROOCH

 
BREAKING: AL JAZEERA REPORTEDLY IN POSSESSION OF NEW KERRY TAPE
 
KERRY BEATS REDSKINS 28-14, BUSH WILL CONTEST GAME RESULT FOR A MONTH OR SO
 
 
TRICK-OR-TREATERS TO KERRY MANSION IN SWING STATE RECEIVING BALLOTS, FAKE IDS
 
CIA: NEW KERRY TAPE IS 'AUTHENTIC'
 
KERRY: 'LET'S ALL MOVE PAST THIS DIVISIVE ELECTION AND MOVE ON TO THE HATE-FILLED LEGAL PROCESS'


Powered by Blogger